I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
