This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My vagina is officially offended.
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