You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
