My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
