that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
