Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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