I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
