So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
