I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
