GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
