Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
