i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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