so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
