I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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