Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
