4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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