Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
