also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Enjoy the penises
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
