How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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