Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
