im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
