Say something about gay babies.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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