Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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