just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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