I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
