Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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