She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
