So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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