Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
