i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
