Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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