Soap is not a condiment
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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