You're a womanizer and a bitch.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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