i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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