where does the pee come out of this thing
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
