So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have already put on my inside pants.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
