I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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