Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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