i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
