ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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