I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the day after is always just damage control
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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