his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I touched a dick in church today
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
