Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
