is this the sara with the beer cane?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
