I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
