when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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