I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
