I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
