You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
