I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
