Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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