why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
